One reason I have a hard time picturing me and my mother...

...is  the disappointment she would inevitably feel if she saw me now. My life has not turned out the way I wanted, this is not the ordinary midlife crisis where someone wakes up with wife, two kids in a small town wonder what happened. This is someone who wakes up after ten years of literally doing absolutely nothing. Broke, without a degree and without a job. This could have been rock bottom, and the shame would probably have made it impossible for me to write about this. But things are luckily not that bad, even though I have a hard time seeing the end of the tunnel, atleast I've managed to hang on to a thread of hope. I'm not alone anymore, and if I ever reach the end of that tunnel my life could, despite all the set bacls, be more faboulus than I ever could dream of.